Of Course I know, I love you
by lovingvamps
Summary: One-shot Paul/OC. Amy Brookes has been in love with her best friend ever since they met, and he has no idea. This is a short story describing some times between them in relation to the song "I'd Lie' by Taylor Swift.


**AN: Okay so this is my first story, even if it is just a one shot. I was listening to the song I'd Lie by Taylor Swift, and just felt like writing about it. So here goes, and I know I made a lot of mistakes especially in point of view, but I don't have a beta so if you would like to beta for me, I would appreciate that. **

**Disclaimer: All characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyers. The song I'd Lie belongs to Taylor Swift**

I walked over to my car and sat in the driver's seat, he's already waiting for me in the passenger seat, I don't think it has ever looked as good as it does when he's sitting in it. We're skipping fourth period today, we do this sometimes. We just sit out here in my car and wait until the period was over, the next one is lunch.

"Hey," he said. My heart flutters.

"Hey Paul," I answered, smiling at him. He grinned back, not knowing how much it affects me.

Paul is my best friend; he always has been and unfortunately, always will be. I, Amy Brookes, am in love with him. And he has no idea. I keep waiting for the day when he sees the love in my eyes and rejects me, tells me he doesn't love me and never will. I won't be able to go on if that happens, but I don't want to end my life and have him blame himself. I could never do that to him. So every day I pretend like nothings wrong. It nearly destroys me.

"What's got your brain spinning its wheels, eh?" he asks, teasing me. I must have looked space out.

I smile a little forcefully and say, "Nothing." He gives me a strange look, but shrugs and tells me about the day before.

"So I was over at Jared's house yesterday and we were having an epic battle. You know, on guitar hero? So yea and I was winning and then..." he continues on like this for the whole class period. And me, being the lovesick fool I am, dote on every word. I always listen when Paul speaks, I can't help it. I am forever in love with him. Every time he looks at me I can see the excitement in his eyes as he remembers his day. His deep brown eyes glowing happily. His eyes are at their best when he's happy, they go to a light, care free brown in the middle and a slightly darker look around the edges. He's beautiful.

The bell rings soon, interrupting Paul's reminiscence of him winning guitar hero against Jared, his other friend, and we get up to go to lunch. I pull out my I-pod and stuck an ear piece in my ear, handing Paul the other one, he grabs it with a smile. I put on some of his favorite songs. He laughs and says I know all of his favorite songs, and I fake a smile. Of course I know all of his favorites, I love him. We pass a girl being dumped by her boyfriend. She has tears streaming down her face.

"I swear I'm never going to fall in love. Too much emotion for me." Paul says, running his hands through his hair.

I know the real reason Paul doesn't want to fall in love is because he's afraid he'll get rejected, just like me. He's afraid that once he imprints, if he ever does, the girl will reject him. I want to scoff and tell him that no girl could ever say no to him, but I don't... I laugh tightly instead, trying not to let the tears seep into my eyes, wishing he was wrong. Paul is the only one I'll ever love, and I don't think I can go on forever pretending like he isn't. One day I am going to slip, and he is going to laugh in my face. 'How could a little girl like you ever think a man like me would love you.' he will laugh. And I will cry.

We walk into the cafeteria and I head for my usual table, with my other best friend Carrie. She is Paul's little sister. She's our age though, seventeen, but Paul's is a couple of minutes older than her. She knows I love him, she saw it in my eyes once. Carrie doesn't mind though, she just wishes her brother could see it too. She thinks he wouldn't reject me, she's wrong. Paul likes confident girls, beautiful girls, interesting girls. I'm not any of those. I'm shy and plain and boring, and I'll always be his best friend. Nothing more.

"Hey there," Carrie says to me, smiling sadly.

"Hi," I say softly, sitting down.

I look back over to Paul and he's still standing there, looking between me and Jared and his group. He hangs out with the La Push Protectors. Or, the La Push werewolves I should say. Yes, I know Paul's a werewolf. But I could care less, it didn't change him any. His family knows too of course, but they support him just as I do. I remember at first how he didn't want to tell me in fear it would scare me away, it did nothing of the sort. Nothing could deter my love for him; it even increased my love for him when I saw him as a giant furry wolf. The only thing I hate about him being a werewolf is that one day he will imprint, and I will be left behind; forgotten and unloved. I only get to see him a couple days a week outside of school because he's almost always with the pack. He looks back over at me, and back to Jared who is beckoning him over. He stands there a second more and then walks away to sit with Jared. I release the breath I was holding, my hope leaving my body. I turn to Carrie again. She's glaring at Paul.

"It's ok Carrie, I knew he wouldn't really come and sit with us." I tell her.

"He _should_ come and sit here though. He's a clueless idiot that's what he is." she says.

"Don't fret over it. Tell me about your day." I say, she looks at me and knows I don't want to have this conversation. Not now, and not here; not with the knowledge that someone could hear us and tell Paul. Or worse, that Paul would hear, and reject me in front of everyone.

Carrie starts to explain to me in detail of what happened between her and Tom, her crush, in fourth period. Apparently they were flirting the whole time and right before the bell rang, he asked her to the movies on Friday. You know the drill, girl brushes up against guy and giggles, guy leans over and whispers into her ear. The whole she-bang. Whatever.

"I said yes of course," she continued.

"That's great Carrie!" I say enthusiastically, I really am excited for her. She's been crushing on Tom for weeks.

"Thanks Amy," Carrie says, smiling. I grin back at her, and we started planning in detail just how she would look on Friday night, I was going to come over and help her get ready. Paul was never far from my mind, even when I was planning Carrie's date; Paul could never completely leave my mind. I glanced over at his table again, the guys were trying to get him to tell them his favorite color and when his birthday was. They wanted to buy him a car for his birthday, but Paul didn't want to tell them. 'Green,' I want to say. 'He was born on the seventeenth of September.' I want to tell them. But I don't. I know these things about Paul, I was his best friend.

I know what his favorite color is. I know when he was born. I know that he has his father's deep brown eyes and that his sister is beautiful. I know that he never lets anybody see him cry. His favorite songs are etched into my brain, and I know every inch, every line and curve and indentation of his face. I know that he loves to argue, and I know that he can play the guitar. But if I tell people this, they would know. Everyone would know that I am in love with Paul, and that I have no chance. And if they ask me if I love him, I'd lie.

_Four months later:_

These last four months have been bearable. Paul never ended up telling his friends what his favorite color was, or when he was born. He didn't even think I knew, but of course I did. I still remember the day I showed up at his door with his present.

_Flashback:_

_I walked up to his front door and knocked loudly. It was one pm in the afternoon, September seventeenth. Paul's birthday. Carrie opened the door and smiled at me in greeting, before stepping aside and letting me into the house. I had been here before of course, my two best friends lived here. But never to give Paul his present. In all the years that I've known and loved him, I have never personally given him a birthday present. I always gave it to Carrie to give to him, telling her to say it was from his grandparents or someone else in his family. But this year she had persuaded me to give it to him myself. _

_I walked into the living room and grinned at the sight before me. Paul was stretched out in front of the TV, still in his pj's, a t-shirt and boxers. No matter how many times I saw him like that it always made my heart flutter, good thing he wasn't awake to hear it. I walked over to him. _

"_Happy birthday sleepy head," I said, it was obvious he had only just gotten up a couple of minutes ago. _

_He looked up shocked, I smiled at him. "You know it's my birthday?" he asked. _

"_Of course," I answer. Of course I know, I love him. _

_He still looks shocked. I hand him over the present, mumbling something that resembled 'here'. He took it and looked at it for a few seconds, before ripping the paper off. I chuckled softly. _

_He picked up the gift and looked at it in awe. It was a picture of us on our first play date, a week after we had met. We were seven at the time, and out on First Beach. It was at sunset and we were sitting on a log gazing out to sea, my head was resting on his shoulder and his hand was interlocked with mine. We were already best friends, even after only a week. Paul never knew that my mother had taken this picture, she had given it to me a couple of days later and I have treasured it ever since. My mother is dead now, she died of cancer when I was twelve. But I'll never forget what she said the day she handed me that picture. _

"_One day Amy, you will look at this picture, and you will find him, you will know.." she had said. _

_I didn't know what she meant at the time, but once when I was fourteen I was cleaning out my closet, and I found this picture. I saw it, and I found him, I knew I loved him... I then knew what my mother was talking about; even then she had known that I was in love with Paul. I just didn't realize it yet. _

_Paul looked up at me. "I remember this day." he said. I sat down next to him, taking the picture from his hands. _

"_Yea, it was our first play date. My mother took this picture," I said sadly, remembering again my mother. Paul looked at me sadly, I smiled at him softly. "She gave it to me a few days later and I kept it ever since."_

"_Why didn't you show it to me?" he asked. _

"_Don't know," I shrugged. I did know actually. I didn't want to show him because I wanted to have it be my secret, so that every time I looked at it I could remember my love for him. To me this picture represented the start of our friendship, of our life together. _

_Paul smiled at me and leaned over for a hug. "Thank you," he said. I hugged him back, reveling in the warmth of his arms. _

"_You're welcome," I said, working hard not to let my comfort show. He leaned back and grinned at me again before looking back to the picture. _

_End Flashback._

Now it was my birthday, December fifteenth, and Paul had forgotten. It was actually my birthday yesterday, right now its 1 AM, Monday, December sixteenth. It hadn't been my birthday for at least an hour, and yet I was still waiting for Paul to come through my bedroom door and give me his present and a hug. One hour later, I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up later that morning around eight AM, and immediately my first thoughts were of Paul. Like always he had been in my dream, and he was beautiful. I walked into the bathroom to see the damage of last night. I was a mess. My face and eyes were red and tear streaked, and my hair was all over the place. I stepped into the shower letting the warm water pour down my body, soothing my muscles and fixing my face. When I stepped out I felt better, but not all the way. I was still upset about Paul forgetting my birthday; he didn't show up or call all day. I put on my make-up, wishing it would make a difference in how Paul looked at me, and pulled on some clothes.

When I got to the school, Carrie came rushing over.

"Did he come?" she asked. I shook my head, tears coming to me eyes again. I wiped them away carefully. Carrie was cursing under her breath.

"It's ok," I told her sadly, "he probably had better things to do."

She looked at me and sighed. We headed into class. I eventually found out that Paul wasn't here today, I don't know why, maybe he was just avoiding me and that's why I never saw him. I was contemplating this as I walked back to my car after school let out.

"Amy wait!" Carrie shouted as she ran to catch up. I turned around and waited.

"I'll come over around seven to help you get ready ok?" she said.

Ready? "For what?" I asked. Carrie looked at me in disbelief before shaking her head at me. "What?" I questioned.

"Amy it's the talent show tonight, your singing your song." she said. I felt my eyes widen, tonight? No! I thought I still had a week to practice.

"Tonight. Tonight? As in Monday, December sixteenth tonight?!" I asked hysterically.

Carrie nodded her head, I groaned. I'd have to practice a little before I went; this was the only song of mine that I didn't know perfectly. I told Carrie I would see her at seven and headed home.

A few hours later Carrie was up in my room doing my hair and make-up.

"Ok then, I'm done. Now let's get you into your outfit." She said. We had gone shopping last week for my talent show outfit and I have to admit I actually looked pretty good. I was wearing some low rise chocolate colored jeans and a red flutter-sleeve top with a split v-neckline with ruching. I pulled on some chocolate flats and looked at myself in the mirror. Carrie was grinning at me.

"Thank-you," I said, turning to her.

She shrugged, "It's what I do. Now I need to get going because I'm going to pick up some people, you can get there on your own right?"

I gave her a look, "Yes Carrie, I think I can manage to drive myself to the school." We laughed and she headed out the door.

About thirty minutes later, it was 7:45 and I needed to get going. I was going to be late. I grabbed my purse and stuffed my money and make-up in it, making sure to grab my cell before walking towards the door. I opened it and was about to rush out to my car when I was stopped in my tracks. Paul was standing there, his fist raised as if to knock on the door. I stood there, shocked, and waited for him to say something while I got over my surprise.

When he didn't say anything I pushed past him and started walking to my car, closing the door behind me.

"Amy wait-" he starts.

"Paul I have to go, I'm late as it is and I can't waste anymore time." I say, cutting him off. I turn around to face him.

"Amy I'm so sorry though, I forgot your birthday! I'll make it up to you I promise. I can't believe I forgot." He said, half-mumbling the last part to himself.

"I know Paul, I do, but I really have to go." I tell him, quickly getting into my car and speeding off. I'm elated that Paul apologized, but I'm still upset and angry over the fact that after all these years, he actually forgot my birthday. I glanced in the rearview mirror and for a second I thought I saw a silver blur race through the trees, but I put it off to a glare from the sun.

I parked at the school and rushed into the theater through the back entrance, Carrie met me there.

"Where were you? You're on in two minutes Amy!" she half-shouted at me, trying not to be loud so she didn't interrupt the current act.

"I know! Sorry, Paul stopped off before I came and I had to deflect him." I said.

"Oh." she started, "Well c'mon then, let's get you ready." And with that, she pulled the make-up out of my purse and did some retouches.

I'm standing there, waiting for the music to come on, cueing me. When it does, I turn to Carrie frantically.

"Carrie! This isn't the song I was going to sing, I can't sing this one Carrie!" I told her. Not this song, not now.

"Amy come on! The CD with your other music has coffee spilt all over it." she says. I turn to look at the audience. Paul is sitting there with the pack, watching me intently.

"Carrie Paul's here. He's _here._ Now do you realize why I can't sing it?!" I whispered hysterically.

"What's wrong with this song?" She asked quizzically. Oh no, I didn't show her this one did I?

"Carrie it's about Paul, this song. It's about Paul." I said.

She still doesn't get it; I see it in her eyes. "Ok well, we can talk after you sing it. C'mon it can't be that bad." she said, and pushed me on stage.

I sighed and walked up to the mic, well here goes my life, I think to myself, and start to sing.

_I don't think that passenger seat  
Has ever looked this good to me  
He tells me about his night  
And I count the colors in his eyes_

_He'll never fall in love  
He swears, as he runs his fingers through his hair  
I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong  
And I don't think it ever crossed his mind  
He tells a joke, I fake a smile  
But I know all his favorite songs_

_And I could tell you  
His favorite color's green  
He loves to argue  
Born on the seventeenth  
His sister's beautiful  
He has his father's eyes  
And if you ask me if I love him...  
I'd lie_

___He looks around the room  
Innocently overlooks the truth  
Shouldn't a light go on  
Doesn't he know  
That I've had him memorized for so long_

___He sees everything black and white  
Never let nobody see him cry  
I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine_

___I could tell you  
His favorite color's green  
He loves to argue  
Born on the seventeenth  
His sister's beautiful  
He has his father's eyes  
And if you ask me if I love him...  
I'd lie_

___He stands there, then walks away  
My God, if I could only say  
I'm holding every breath for you_

___He'd never tell you,  
But he can play guitar  
I think he can see through  
Everything but my heart  
First thought when I wake up is  
My God, he's beautiful  
So I put on my make-up  
And pray for a miracle_

___Yes I could tell you  
His favorite color's green  
He loves to argue  
Oh, and it kills me  
His sister's beautiful  
He has his father's eyes  
And if you ask me if I love him...  
If you ask me if I love him...  
_

___I'd lie_

The whole song I looked at Paul, I sang to Paul. If I was going to ruin my life I might as well do it with confidence. But as soon as I finished, my confidence left me. I could see the shocked look on Paul's face, and I didn't wait for the horror to come after. I ran from the stage, tears over-flowing my eyes, and pushed past the apologetic Carrie. I ran outside and all the way to the cliff, all the way to the log where we sat that first play date. before collapsing onto the log. I always came here when I needed to get away, and I definitely needed to get away. Unfortunately, Paul also knew of this place, and I just hoped he wouldn't follow me here. No such luck.

"Amy," he sighed, and for a second I thought I could hear a new emotion in his voice; one that's always been there just under the surface. Probably shock, I think.

He knelt down beside me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"I was wrong." he said. I was confused, wrong about what?

"I fell in love. I imprinted." he said again. More tears came streaming out of my eyes, of course he imprinted, of course I would have to see him living a life with the one he loved while I sat back and watched mine.

I felt his hand under my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. His gaze looked back at me, and I could see love shining. But why?

"Amy I love you. I imprinted on you, I love you," he said.

"What?" I manage to utter, shocked.

He doesn't answer, instead bringing his lips to mine, kissing me tenderly, lovingly. I sigh, and he pulls away.

"I love you," he says again.

"I know," I answer. I could feel his love for me, and I knew this was forever.

"You know?"

I smiled at him, "Of course I know, I love you."

Our lip met again and instead of the loving kiss we shared before, this one was passionate and fervent. I opened my mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss. We kissed for what seemed like hours, but probably only amounted to minutes. By this time, it was sunset, and as I lay my head on his shoulder, he intertwined his fingers with mine, and we watched the sun set together, enjoying what we would later recognize as the beginning of our life together in love.


End file.
